Adamantine
By: Adamantine - 636 Days 18 Hrs ago
General | Arts | Cultural
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Best Joke For 2010 So Far

George Bush, Queen Elizabeth, and Vladimir Putin all die and go to hell. While there, they spy a red phone and ask what the phone is for. The Devil tells them it is for calling back to Earth.

Putin asks to call Russia and talks for 5 minutes. When he is finished the devil informs him that the cost is a million dollars, so Putin writes him a check.

Next Queen Elizabeth calls England and talks for 30 minutes. When she is finished the devil informs her that the cost is 6 million dollars, so she writes him a check.

Finally George Bush gets his turn and talks for 4 hours. When he is finished the devil informs him that the cost is $5.00.

When Putin hears this he goes ballistic and asks the devil why Bush got to call the USA so cheaply.

The devil smiles and replies: "Since Obama took over, the country has gone to hell, so it's a local call."

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tigger
Comment by: tigger
636 Days 16 Hrs ago
You missed the last line... the correct one is...

The devil smiles and replies: "That's George Dubya Bush. He's secretly tapped into every line in America but shhhh... they don't know it."
tigger
Comment by: tigger
636 Days 7 Hrs ago
President George W. Bush was scheduled to visit the Episcopal Church outside Washington as part of his campaign to restore his pathetic poll standings.

His image handler made a visit to the Bishop and said, "We've been getting a lot of bad publicity because of the president's position on stem cell research, the Iraq war, hurricane Katrina, and the Veterans Administration. We'll make a $100,000 contribution to your church if during your sermon you will say that the President is a saint."

The Bishop thought it over for a few moments and finally said, "The Church is desperate for funding - I'll do it."

Bush showed up for the sermon, and the Bishop began:

"I'd like to speak to you all this morning about our President who is a liar, a cheat, and a low-intelligence weasel.

He took the tragedy of September 11 and used it to frighten and manipulate the American people.

He lied about weapons of mass destruction and invaded Iraq for oil and money, causing the deaths of tens of thousands and making the United States the most hated country on earth.

He appointed cronies to positions of power and influence, leading to widespread death and destruction during Hurricane Katrina.

He awarded contracts and tax cuts to his rich friends so that we now have more poverty in this country and a
greater gap between rich and poor than we've had since the Depression.

He has headed the most corrupt, bribe-inducing political party since Teapot Dome.

The national surplus has turned into a staggering national debt of 7.6 trillion Dollars.

Gas prices are up 85%, which the people of America cannot afford with low minimum wages, part time jobs, no health insurance, and outsourcing.

Vital research into global warming and stem cells is stopped cold because he's afraid to lose votes from religious kooks.

He is the worst example of a true Christian I've ever known, but compared to Dick Cheney...

George W. Bush is a saint."

 

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